A Q&A WITH EVENT COORDINATOR CORI RODERY SARNI
It's no secret that it's been a tough year for everyone, and making the decision to postpone your much-anticipated wedding day is disappointing and stressful. And it's okay to feel that way.
One of our very own was set to celebrate her big day with us on October 17 but ultimately decided to postpone the wedding celebration and elope early.
Keep reading for our Q&A with client turned event coordinator, Cori Rodery Sarni, on eloping and postponing her wedding. If you're considering cancelling or postponing, you won't want to miss her advice.
What were some of the deciding factors when it came to eloping & postponing your wedding?
As the severity of COVID-19 became more apparent, we became increasingly concerned about our wedding and about the rights we didn’t have as an unmarried couple. After really digging into what was actually important to us, we sat at our dining room table together and discussed what a summertime micro wedding might look like. We knew our families would be sad that they weren’t there, but we decided that getting married just the two of us would be the best decision for us.
After thinking through what our ideal ceremony would be, we decided to get married in the Smoky Mountains a few weeks later. So on June 21, we drove to a beautiful and remote part of the Foothills Parkway in the pouring rain to meet our photographer and our officiant.
Thankfully, it stopped raining just long enough for us to exchange the vows we’d written the night before and take a few photos.
Then we kept the secret for almost a month and a half before telling our immediate family. We were worried they would be upset with us, but they were overjoyed and so proud of us for getting married on our own terms and making the very best of an unprecedented situation. That same weekend with the support of our families, we made the decision to postpone our celebration and finalized a new date in September of 2021.
How have you been feeling throughout this process?
Our emotions have really been all over the place. When lockdown began, we took a step back and paused all wedding planning because everything seemed so far away, and making plans for something that might not happen felt sad. Once we scheduled our elopement date, it felt wonderful to have something to look forward to again and the October wedding held a little less weight for us.
Yes, we couldn’t (and still can’t!) wait to celebrate with our friends and family, but we felt at peace with potentially having to move our wedding date. We were thrilled to be happily married in private, and honestly, really enjoyed our little secret for a short time.
What are some ways you've been managing stress during this process?
We try to remind ourselves, one another, and our loved ones that none of us have gone through anything quite like this yet. There’s no manual on how to cope with the decisions we have to make or the lengths at which we go to keep ourselves safe and sane. We all just have to do the best we can and really listen to ourselves to figure out what we need.
We’ve been trying to live our life together as fully and safely as possible. We’ve been keeping ourselves busy and keeping in touch with our friends and family as best we can, while trying to maintain some level of normalcy at home.
Has anything good come out of this experience that you can share with brides who might be going through the same thing?
I think this time at home has really taught all of us to slow down and our elopement really emphasized that for us as well. As an event coordinator, I know that one is swept up in the excitement and one’s wedding day just flies by. But forgetting about what everyone would eat or where they would sit or what our entrance song would be for a short time, and just taking the time to just focus on the two of us, was really meaningful.
I feel like it has been helpful not to concentrate on what we may feel was taken away from us, but on what we were given. Tony and I are very grateful that we've had the best of both worlds. We were really able to enjoy a small ceremony where nothing else mattered but the promises we made to one another, and we’ll have the big celebration that we’ve spent so long planning together.
How has going through this personally helped you when communicating with clients about rescheduling their weddings?
Understanding the sense of loss and their need to grieve has been very helpful. It has been important for me to remember that although I was preparing myself to make this decision for months, it was still deeply sad to sign our postponement paperwork and let go of our October wedding date. We’d been dreaming of that date for over a year and dreaming of the celebration for years before then, which rings true for so many people celebrating any number of milestones this year.
We all look forward to the joy we’ll feel and the memories we’ll make for ourselves and for our loved ones. Not only is a wedding a large financial investment, but an enormous emotional investment as well. And when the fate of that joy and those memories are in question, it can deeply affect us all, especially considering our daily safety is in question too. Having empathy for your fellow man and caring about their wellbeing is what will help get all of us through this pandemic.
What would your advice be to couples who are considering cancelling or postponing their wedding?
I would encourage everyone to have an open and truly honest discussion with their partner about what is important to them before inviting other voices into the conversation. What helped us figure out what was best for us was fully expressing our fears, admittedly rational and sometimes irrational. For example, "will no one come to the wedding if we’re already married?" They will still come! And also what we were really looking forward to about our wedding.
When we looked at all of our options, having a meaningful ceremony for just the two of us and throwing a “party worth waiting for” next year was the very best choice. Yes, we have another year to wait for our wedding, but our vendors have been secured and everything is mostly planned.
At the end of the day, the outpouring of love and support that we’ve received has really helped us get through the pandemic. The happy tears have really outnumbered the sad, and now, we can focus on taking care of ourselves, of one another and on enjoying our first year of marriage together.
